Top reviews from the United States - Amazon.com
Steve Nakamoto - Author of Talk Like A Winner - Men Are Like Fish - Dating Rocks - Wall Street Craps
5.0 out of 5 stars GREAT STORIES + INSIGHTFUL + BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN = A MUST READ!
Reviewed in the United States on December 2, 2005As a relationship author and online advisor, I receive a lot of new books for authors and publishers to review and endorse. Some of the ones that I come across are only useful for a narrow audience, while others have tremendous value for the masses. This book definitely falls into the latter category.
And there is so much more!
This is a flat-out darn good book --- beautifully written, cleverly insightful, and a joy to read. It is a sensitive journey through female midlife (I truly wish that there was a book that was the male equivalent!) with humor and intelligence mixed into almost every paragraph.
The flow of the book brings out stories of beauty, moments that are profound and those moments that we would rather not see. I like the fact that I can at one moment enjoy a serene look at a gentle stream, then be jarred by the reality of a horrific moment, such as the one described in Context Sensitivity where "all time stops and diners suddenly look like Diane Arbus prints, braying with harsh, dissonant laughter. Waitresses are serving grotesque platters of food; everyone is oddly-shaped, their teeth too large for their mouths; their clothes cloying and uncomfortable." That is one of those moments of resonance we have all had although the situation and participants may be different, but the recognition is the same.
For many female readers, they will instantly get a feeling of identification like "You've walked in my shoes" or "You're telling my life." The author has found a unique series of well-chosen stories that needed to be told and people will hunger for the humor, sensitivity, and inspiration that can be transferred into their own meanings of life's experiences.
Aphrodite is designed in bite-size pieces to be read at the reader's convenience. So while this book is an easy read, it is also packed with the literary meat of 250 thought-provoking, image-creating pages.
In the end, you also wish that the book could go on even further. You can't say that about very many books these days!
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As a man, I particularly enjoyed:
* Author Katherine Doughtie's strength is her ability to get the essential reality of a situation and then describe it in a way that is immediately recognizable. People are relieved that someone has put "that indescribable thing" into words and it's very satisfying to them. She just "gets it" whether it's a relationship, a situation, or a casual observation.
* The book acts as somewhat of a two-way mirror. People will be able to see themselves in these stories and since everyone is different, every reader will take away a different message. There is therefore a personalization that is shared, while also having experienced a universal theme. It seems to validate and illuminate what people go through no matter where they are on their life's journey.
* The stories will help men understand the subtle differences that women experience in their adventurous lives. A woman's life has more texture in most cases to our own. I feel a little bit closer to understanding the richest that a woman can add to a man's life by finding value in some of the smallest, yet profound moments. A woman can fill in the emotion and color of the moments in time that go by without regard for the average man. A man's midlife can be commonly a path of boredom, isolation, and decline while a woman's can be one of self-renewal and universal bonding.
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This book should become an underground bestseller initially and who knows this may just be the book that every woman over the age of 30 will proudly own. It's the kind of book that puts every woman's life in its proper context...to be appreciated for both the struggles and successes no matter how small or large.
This is a one-of-kind book that could help sprout a new form of community where women can come together and share their experiences with the common bond of this great piece of work. (Maybe some enlightened men and potential love partners will take part, too!)
Katherine Doughtie is a special kind of writer. You'll truly appreciate her unique literary gift along with her personal sense of meaning that everyday presents to us if only we were more attuned to it.
This is a book that I guarantee you'll like.
4.0 out of 5 stars Masterfully written
Reviewed in the United States on December 15, 2005
I'm not always a fan of reading other people's essays. There's a difficulty in reading the self-related experiences of others. Sometimes they filter their insights when you want more honesty, and other times they don't filter enough when you really wish they would just stop talking.
It is clear from almost the beginning of Aphrodite in Jeans, an autobiographical collection of essays by first-time author Katherine Shirek Doughtie that she is talented with words. She used vivid imagery, some of which stayed with me well after I'd finished reading the book.
However, what is both fascinating and frustrating about this coming of age story is that the author very often uses words to avoid a deeper self-analysis. It is not totally clear if she is just hiding from the reader, or if she is hiding from herself, although I suspect the latter to be true.
Doughtie introduces the reader to her book by telling them that a common theme in this collection of essays is her search for connection. Rather than exploring connectedness between men and women, the book really examines how unconnected the author continues to be with the many men in her life.
The book's title Aphrodite in Jeans signifies the author's entrance into her own "Aphrodite phase," a magic, she explains, that is flavored by an attitude of adventure and openness, freedom from fear and a willingness to abandon the checklist when it comes to choosing partners.
I'm sure by now you get the theme, she hasn't abandoned her checklist at all.
She weaves the details of her various hit and run relationships masterfully, and she has a gift with words, which makes the book a compelling read. However, the outcome of some of the relationships are so painful, it is almost hard to read.
It is painful to watch a woman so self-aware flounder in relationship (for lack of a better term) hell, but in avoiding self-analysis she also keeps the biographical part painfully honest. Even though she frequently skips over her ugly relationship self-truths, at the end of the journey, we still get a pretty good idea of exactly who she is.